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Sex and Siem Reap City

By: Diana Saw Posted: September-16-2009 in
Diana Saw

Sex and Siem Reap city

So one of my Khmer pals has a young French man pursuing her. He's not the first one. My friend has never agreed to go out with barang men because she is suspicious of them -- with good reason. One of her friends has been dumped by a string of Western expats after going to bed with them. One of these men left her with a child before returning to his country of origin. The poor Khmer girl keeps asking what is wrong with her, why do men all leave her. It does not occur to her to stop seeing the expat men she favours.

It is clear writing this that it's not just a problem in Cambodia. There are women all over the world who get used by men and don't understand why. I remember one episode of "Sex and the City" where Carrie and Jon Bon Jovi's character, both fellow patients at a shrink's, just had sex.

Carrie: So why are you in therapy, seriously.
JBJ: I'm really fucked up about women....after I sleep with them I completely lose interest. (Pauses, turns to look at C): How about you? What's your problem.
Carrie (to herself): I believe, in therapy, this moment is called "The Breakthrough". (Rolls over and looks at the ceiling, answering): I pick the wrong men.

In the case of my Khmer friend, a very pretty young woman, the young man's persistence won the day. He would come in a few times a day to the shop where she works. One day he said to her: "Why do Cambodian women all say no when I ask them to have dinner with me? Or they say yes but they are not free today?" Anyone could have told him "It's cos the women are just not that into you." But of course my friend is too polite to tell him so.

Instead, she agreed to go on a first dinner date with him, which turned into another meal, and a trip to the swimming pool (!) of a posh hotel on the third date. It was also then that he also told her he would be leaving Cambodia at the end of the month. He is working as a manager at one of the shops here in Siem Reap but has to go back to France to resume his university studies.

By this time, unfortunately, she has developed feelings for the guy. I always wonder at how easily women fall for men after sampling nice dinners. Being poor makes you more vulnerable. My friend cannot afford to go to the expensive places the French man is taking her to and it is hard not to be impressed with the service and ambience at some of these places. I guess one might say he makes her feel like a princess.

She reminds me of this friend in Singapore who was pursued by an American expat. My friend was bowled over by the expensive dinners and "romance". The guy took her on a boat cruise down the Singapore river and showered her with wine, flowers and chocolates. She said she would never date local men again, because expat men know how to treat a woman and are more imaginative and romantic. After a month of seeing each other, the guy persuaded her to take a trip to Bali with him. You know what happened next - he never called her after bedding her. My Singaporean friend changed her mind about expat men.

My poor Khmer friend is depressed because she knows this will not last yet she likes him. She does not dare tell her family because they will scold her. She told me she said to the man, "Why did you ask me out since you are leaving?" He said, "What can I do, I like you." She is flattered and takes him at his word, although it does occur to us he only stepped up efforts three weeks before his departure. They have known each other for much longer.

I tell her to use protection but she giggles, embarrassed. Maybe it will not come to that, but I just want her to be safe. Another Cambodian friend of mine is in the countryside where she has just given birth to a baby boy, after the baby's father dumped her. He is a Khmer, not a barang--so let's be clear, there are bad men of all sorts, not just barangs. The unwed mother tells me there is no good food in the village (there is only vegetables and fish) and she misses "the good food in Siem Reap".

By the way, the photo of the four Khmer actresses and singers which reminds me of NYC's famous four is of Som Mana, Keo Pichpisey, Sok Pisey and Doung Zorida. Photo from khmer-chitchat.





Dont Hate The Player. Hate The Game.

World wide this is what most men do. When women travel they are out to have a good time. When men travel pussy is the final destenation. It is sad for those guys that really want to marry these girls. A lot of guys that come here just wanna taste the local fruit. Its a game and the object for the guy is to get the panties off.


It Happens Here Too

I'm an American guy. Married to a wonderful Filipina woman and have lived in the Philippines going on seven years. Same thing happens here in this country every day. Men, from any country have NO right to try to use or take advantage of girls-for any reason. But with that said, I think that women/girls also have an obligation to take care of themselvs as well. That means having fun, enjoying life, dating and going out with men of any nationality. BUT LEARN TO SAY NO when asked to be a bed partner.
My opinion is that if a man has a true sence of respect for a woman he will not even ask the girl to sleep with him unless married. And if the girl has a sence of respect for herself--and her family, she will simply say NO if asked and not go out with that man ever again.

Several months ago, my wife and I helped an American guy move here from the states to our town. He told us over a period of about a years time that he wanted to move here to find a wonderful girl, GET MARRIED, and settle here in the Philippines. Now to our surprise we are lerning he really has no intention of that at all. Instead, using almost any girl (a different one most every day) to satisfy his own selfish desires. If a "relationship" lasts more than a few days and looks like it could work into a marriage, he finds an "excuse" to end the relationship and she is out the door.

So seems my wife and I made a mistake in helping this guy and now he's helping himself unchecked in the "candy store" of the Philippines with girls that don't realise that they are just being used and have not learned to say no. I suspect that eventually he will do this with the wrong girl and will have hell to pay at the hands of the girl or her family. But until then it just continues.

Needless to say, that is the last time we will try to help someone with relocating here!!!

user avatar Anonymous

Her own fault

If she chooses to be a gold digger by only dating expats with 1st world passports and money, then she deserves to be treated like a gold digger and getting kicked to the curb comes with the territory.

I want to win the lottery, but I have to accept many, many failures before a win. A company wants to land a massive government contract, but has to take the burden of servicing many small contracts first.

You clearly illustrated that her goal of dating is not for enjoyment, but for permanent partnership; marriage. Her goal is to marry herself into a better life, more money, people with money to treat her finely... thats her goal... her career... so yes, she deserves to pay her dues before the 'big win'. I have no sympathy for goldiggers. Just because its the best means to improve her station in life is no excuse.


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