Truth In Blogging

Years ago I made a post about people online and how they pretend to be something they aren’t, and I’ve been thinking about it again recently. I made that post almost exactly 5 years ago and this issue is still a bit of a thorn in my side, especially now that the blogging community has grown so much since I last discussed it.

Over the years I’ve spoken to a lot of bloggers and have even met one or two in real life and become friends with them. One thing that has always stopped me from meeting more is the underlying fear of them not being who they make themselves out to be on their blogs. I know in many cases it’s probably silly to feel that way, but in talking to different bloggers who have met a lot of others, I hear a lot of stories about people who turn out to be nothing like the person you see on their blog.

Recently I learned about another example of this happening. It doesn’t really affect me since I never really talk to the person and they live nowhere near me, so I wouldn’t ever be meeting them anyway, but it does get under my skin. Apparently, this person’s blog persona is a complete fabrication. From their name, where they live, what they do and just generally who they are. Many of the experiences they write about on their blog have not even happened, and a lot of what they write about is found through Google, rather than their own life experiences.

First, let me say that I don’t think it’s an obligation for bloggers to share all of their details. In fact, I often wonder if I am not a bit too open about who I am and what goes on in my life. I think everyone has a right to share only what they are comfortable with, as the internet is not necessarily a safe place when it comes to sharing personal information. However, not giving your name and other information is entirely different from making up a whole new persona with a life that doesn’t actually exist.

Ordinarily, if someone did this, I’d think it was silly but not be especially bothered. In this case it is a fellow expat, and when I heard about it I found myself getting increasingly agitated. What I’ve heard is that this particular expat, like many of us, struggles quite a lot in their real life and their name, marital status, level of integration and pretty much everything else they discuss on their blog is just simply not true.

Why does this bug me, you are probably wondering? It’s because this person writes as though they have come here and thrived in their new environment, when that is actually a complete falsehood, they are having a rough time just like anyone else. This bothers me because there are so many expats out there who do struggle and often will look for people who understand and have been there themselves, and while this person’s blog can be a great source of information, the way in which it’s written can be very deceiving. For the new, culture shocked, expat, it may seem as though there is something wrong with them because this person (supposedly) has breezed through as though it was no problem at all.

Don’t get me wrong, there ARE people out there who have come here and really dug in and adapted wonderfully to their life here, and I applaud them. I think they probably have a lot to share with the rest of us and can give newcomers some great tips on how to get along here. I know a few people who’s blogs I read regularly and wish I’d met them when I first got here. There’s a lot I could have learned from them.

I know how humiliating it can be to come to another country and feel lost. I get the feelings of failure that can come along with it and how it can affect every single aspect of your life. I can also understand why people feel that this is a personal thing that they don’t want to share with the world. Whether it’s because they don’t want to upset their family by letting them know how much harder it is than they thought, or just that it upsets them to talk about it.

What I don’t understand is the need to go drastically in the other direction and make up a life that doesn’t exist. Not only would you be lying about who you are, which can’t feel good, but you’d be painting a completely false picture to those who read your blog and very likely use your experiences to measure themselves by.

I understand that everyone has their own ways of coping and nobody expects bloggers to tell the world who they are and where they live. Things like the city they live in and how old they are aren’t really that important either… but I think people do expect some level of truth in the things we say.

What do you think? Do you feel that there is a certain expectation of truth in blogging? Would the fact that a person is blogging about specific issues make a difference in what you expect from them? I’m curious to hear your opinions!

Source: Canadutch

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